Yesterday, I had a meltdown. I am smack dab in the middle of my post-op "full-liquid" diet. I hit a wall with it yesterday. The thought of another week and a half of nothing but protein shakes, yogurt, pudding and chicken broth became too much to bear. So, what did I do? I complained. Loudly. I griped to my husband, my kids and I even sent an email to my nutritionist asking her if there was something, anything, else that I could eat.
In the midst of my meltdown, I was gently reminded by a still, small voice that my grumbling was out of line. I was reminded of the Israelites in the desert who constantly murmered complaints even though God had rescued and sustained them in miraculous ways.
I believe that this surgery has rescued me from the slavery of obesity. And, there I was complaining about the manna! So, I prayed that God would forgive my lack of appreciation and that he would strengthen me so that I would gladly stick to this diet for the next 10 days. Then, I wrote this poem:
You let me go. You set me free.
You cleared the way and parted my sea.
Now I wonder in the desert,
"How much longer will it be
before I'm living in the land You promised me?"
Heavenly bread falls like rain
But milk and honey fill my brain.
Excuse me, Lord. I don't mean to complain
But, I'm gettin' kinda tired of this manna.
Egypt is getting further behind.
Memories fade as time goes by.
I've got food and drink and a place to lie
But, nothing seems to satisfy.
Why'd you bring me out here to die?
Rocks spew water, clouds drop bread.
But, milk and honey fill my head.
Not what I have, but what I want instead.
And I want something besides this manna.
Just as I start to melt the gold
and pour it in the idol's mold
Your love begins to take it's hold.
Distant memories, the story unfolds.
You freed this slave whose heart's grown cold.
So, I thank you for this bread today.
Please forgive my heart that strayed.
Milk and honey will have their day.
Right now, I'm quite satisfied with manna.
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5 comments:
You're getting their Tami! It will all be worth it - don't get discouraged!! You are doing awesome. Lots of people are behind you and praying that you don't even know!!!
Thank you so much! Those prayers and God's faithfulness in answering them are the only thing getting me through this!
You are much stronger than the rest of us. Everyone of us started experimenting with solids one week earlier that we were supposed to. I fist started with croûtons, oh do they taste yummy. Then I started to have one egg and then I ate the chicken, LOL. By this time I'm sure you feel that you can eat regular foods. Start small and work your way up.
Then when you see Amber tell her how you started solids a week earlier, trust me, you will be surprised by her answer.
Orlando--Thanks for the encouragement. I don't think I'm stronger than anyone else...maybe just a little more of a chicken! I am paranoid about not following the "rules" to a T and then messing up my band. When I had my pre-surgery appt w/ Amber (AKA-The Food Nazi):)she told me that under no circumstances was I to move ahead to any of the phases before the assigned time frame. But, trust me, I have been very tempted!!! You are right, my stomach does feel ready. I just keep telling myself...4 more days.
Tami, you are doing great (especially the mowing part! wow!!) Anyway I did start eatting very soft scrambled eggs a few days before I was supposed to. I chewed those eggs until they were liquid, but it just felt like I was eatting solid food : )
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